Coping with Havoc

These sessions were recorded in the Montreal Area during the Winter workshops of 2007

We all have bad days. Even the most experienced meditator’s patience is tested from time to time and, if you’re like me, the chances are that once in a while, you lose your cool.
     That sort of experience can be discouraging. We begin by lashing out against circumstances and convenient scapegoats – innocent or not. Then in a burst of regret we compound it by blaming ourselves for not living up to our high ideals. In our own little worlds, in our own petty ways, we’re all capable of creating havoc.
     The deeper we get tangled in our own webs the more hopeless we feel, but no matter how deep we get it takes just a shift of attitude to reverse direction. Every negative experience is an opportunity to learn about ourselves, and when the tide changes we find we’ve gained a little wisdom.
     Meditation won’t change your personality or make you perfect – but we often hope it will. Its purpose is to bring balance into our life so that we develop a clear mind and familiarity with our mental habits. Sometimes, this means accepting that the momentum of these habits is irresistible. It’s not only the realistic thing to do, it’s also a rich source of insight and empathy. By looking into the nature of our own weaknesses we kill any notions of superiority or perfection, and recognize that if we have to pay a price, then, in one form or another, so does everyone else. It’s an equalizer.
    The thought of being put in our place makes many of us cringe, but it’s not a bad thing. At the very moment we accept it we also shed the untenable burden of trying to be someone we’re not. It’s liberating.
     To help make good use of a bad day we need to recall that meditation isn’t necessarily relaxing and calm. While it’s true that the quiet mind is both the foundation and the goal of meditation, in between those two lies reality. The strength we get from concentrative meditation has no particular value unless we apply it to the real world and change our stress response in real ways. In the end it puts you squarely in your own skin, and that’s not a bad thing at all.

Stephen Schettini
Hudson, Quebec
March 2007